I went to Co-Op, and all I got was this
lousy magnificent idea for how to fix a bit of my rewrite. (And pink wafer biscuits: they’re the new black wafer biscuits, did you hear?) It is all about how my main character is supposed to be writing a novel, but keeps being distracted and updating her blog inst…oh, hang on.
Today work sent me to Christ Church College, to pick up some leaflets from a man who wasn’t there. (Neither were the leaflets.) If only someone would invent an electrical speaking telephonic device to avoid such catastrophes! Then again, I would have missed out on meeting the Christ Church porters (or beadles, or bulldogs, or whatever they call the chaps in the bowler hats over at The Hice), who are lovely. Possibly they were charmed by the way my University ID photo has two large staples across my forehead, giving me a raffishly modern Frankenstein’s monsteresque je ne sais quoi: possibly my failure to use the phrase ‘Where is the Harry Potter Dining Hall?’ made them extra perky. But they ran around like anything for me, and even chased one of their number out of the gents in the hopes he could help. I thought they were supposed to be terrifyingly stern?
My laptop is covered in pink dust now. Utterly True Fact Of The Day: they make pink wafer biscuits out of the crushed shells of those shrimps you get in cinema pick’n’mix. With just a dash of Mavis Cruet.
*This is what it said on my receipt, as all the self-serve tills are claiming to be Simpsons characters at the moment. It was all Harry Potter last year. I miss having my change given to me by Dumbledore…