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Death By Wallpaper

Let’s be clear: the walls of my flat are a veritable rainbow of wrongness.  The kitchen is acid yellow.  The bedroom has one wall of purest green.  My bathroom is a shade of blue which would make Avatar look a bit wan.   But all this is as nothing to what I spotted in the window of Home Furnishing for the Mentally Sturdy.

scary wallpaper with faces on

I mean, it is AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT, and yet so very Charlotte Perkins Gilmany.  The idea of those portholified ladyfaces peering at you through the walls…brrrr.

I quite want it as cushions, though.  Is that wrong?

I read Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, having forgotten that I hate Kazuo Ishiguro.  (No, I’m still not over The Unconsoled.)  Now I  hate Kazuo Ishiguro and myself for reading the bloody thing.  It’s perfectly page-turning and the narrative voice is efficiently done, but, ugh.  It reminded me of the film The Village, where there’s meant to be a shocking twist, but it is neither shocking nor twisty.  Now reading Mrs Tim of the Regiment, which is another lovely Bloomsbury thing about a forces wife pre WWII: very funny so far, and I can think of an actual Mrs Tim who would love it.

FIRST DRAFT DONE AND DUSTED, OH YES.  Phew.  Obviously it is extremely full of holes, and INSERT JOKE HERE notes, and people whose names change from Jim to Billy halfway through – but you can’t rewrite what you haven’t written yet.  It feels good to have an ending to work backwards from.  Six weeks to deadline: cross your fingers?

Succumbing to the Battlestar Galactica boxset, and finding the lack of Dirk Benedict quite surviveable; getting excited about the Peter Gabriel Scratch My Back covers exchange thing, which appears to resemble my CD collection at a swingers party; loathing the moronic Avatar for many reasons, Papyrus included.


6 thoughts on “Death By Wallpaper”

  1. Hurrah for completed first draft – congratulations.

    I can see the weird ladies more as a cushion cover than wallpaper, but can’t help feeling that all those eyes staring at my rear end might be a little unnerving. Who designs this stuff?

    PS I want Scratch My Back – sounds like it should be amazing!

  2. Evidently there’s a market for stuff that makes your home creepy. People = weird.

    Apparently Radiohead’s return cover will be Wallflower of PG4. How awesome is that?

    1. The Unconsoled is 500 pages of stunningly ambitious prose. Unfortunately The Unconsoled is 800 pages long. Ending your epic novel with Bobby Ewing waking up in the shower (and frankly that’s a generous interpretation) does not cut it.

      Never Let Me Go isn’t as maddening, but it fell flat for me. The first page tells you everything. I kept waiting for the ‘ta-da!’ moment and apparently the one on the first page is it. Boo. They’re making a film, apparently, with amazingly good people in it, and Keira Knightley. It might work better onscreen, like Remains of the Day, maybe?

  3. The faces are so placid that they could only be inwardly screaming, especially the one with her eye right up to the keyhole. Yikes! A wall of the finest Green, ey? don’t tell the alchemists.

    Congrats again on the completed first draft, even with all the notes.

  4. Lord Percy Percy, heir to the Duchy of Northumberland does all my decorating. 🙂

    TY! Am now reading it and discovering it’s only about 50% terrible. Phew.

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