7 days of stuff, blog, my invisible boyfriend

My Invisible Boyfriends

MY INVISIBLE BOYFRIEND’S 7 Days of Stuff continues!

In My Invisible Boyfriend, Heidi creates Gingerbread Ed, her very own imaginary boyfriend.  But he’s not her first: she’s already a teensy bit obsessive about a time-travelling detective on TV by the name of Mycroft Christie.  He’s half Sam Tyler, half Adam Adamant, and she adores him.

Where do you get your ideas? people often ask us writing types.  This one’s not really a stretch: I’ve been having TV boyfriends since I was tiny.

Illya Kuryakin

Illya Kuryakin: the other Man from UNCLE

The not-noticeably-Russian David McCallum, long before his NCIS days, was the superest 60s superspy of them all.  This vid encapsulates his charms perfectly, and it doesn’t even include that time he joined the foreign legion.  Or was nearly killed by foam.  Or bees.  THAT’S HOW AWESOME HE IS.

The Fifth Doctor
The Fifth Doctor

The Doctor (especially the beige one)

My Doctor.  Tom Baker was what made me hide behind the sofa as a nipper, so the arrival of His Beigeness was very welcome to my six-year-old self.

Anyway, he’s got a TARDIS and will take you on adventures!  Which might kill you, if you happen to be an annoying mathematical genius!  Hooray!  Bonus TV Boyfriend points for the fact that if you get bored, you can bonk him on the head and get a new one.

Robin of Sherwood
Robin of Sherwood

Robin Hood, the Mullet King

Michael Praed might have regenerated into Jason Connery so he could go and be in Dynasty, but we forgive him.  He worked a pair of tights and some deeply dubious flowing locks like no other before or since.  (Yes, recent BBC version, I’m looking at you.)  Marion was FABULOUS too.  And the Merries.  And the Sheriff.    And his final episode… *wibbles*  I think I’m still recovering all these years later.

Did you know Antony Horowitz wrote some of this?

Relive the, um, magic.

Mal Reynolds
Mal Reynolds

Firefly’s Captain Tightpants

“We may experience some turbulence and then… explode.” That’s the kind of reassurance you want from a Captain.

Like the follow-up movie sequel Serenity, Joss Whedon’s ill-fated Firefly (TM) was a true space western, and Mal was head cowboy of a slightly rubbish spaceship stacked with dodgy cargo.  Yep: he’s Han Solo on the telly.  That’s all you need to know.

(Oh, and sometimes he transports cows in that there hangar.  It’s that kind of show.)

Willow Rosenberg
Willow Rosenberg

Willow, the occasionally-also-a Vampire Slayer

Because, like in real life,  TV boyfriends can be girls too. 🙂

Willow managed to persuasively grow up from dorky sidekick to superpowered witchy woman without losing any of her original perky charm.  (Well, OK, there was that time she tried to end the universe by means of a laboured don’t-do-drugs-kids metaphor – but she wore a really good jacket while she was doing it.)

Now, will someone please write me a TV show where they all team up and FIGHT CRIME?

Come back tomorrow for more from 7 Days of Stuff!


10 thoughts on “My Invisible Boyfriends”

  1. Eek, Susie – the first 3 are also on my list although I am far too old for the final 2. I have some of the Man from U.N.C.L.E. books (ok, I’m weird) and can hear David McCallum’s wonderul ‘Russian’ accent when I read them. Surely a Hollywood remake is on the cards soon?

    Oddly enough, it was Jon Pertwee who made me hide behind the sofa – he had scary eyes! Tom Baker was just insane….

  2. I loved the man from UNCLE and Robin Hood too. I wanted to be Robin Hood, lol. Tom Baker was my doctor but I was old enough to not hide from him. Again, I think I wanted to be him rather than thinking of him as a boyfriend. Now Willow on the other hand….

  3. I have some Man from UNCLE books too! TV tie-in novels are bizarrely fascinating. I like the Starsky & Hutch ones, where every character is introduced with ‘the stocky man with blond hair who weighed 180 pounds’ or similar. Qual-i-tee. (I was quite tempted to put Vila on there too, but then I realised probably Avon should be there too, and Original Han Solo, and I could probably go on for days and days…)

    We used to play Robin of Sherwood, which involved a lot of running around in woods hitting each other with sticks. Good times.

  4. Can’t comment on these, as I never wanted telly boyfriends. Telly girlfriends on the other hand… big yes for Willow, and hot S&M bisexual vampire Willow above all.

    Maid Marion – NO. Not that one. Judi Trott (for it is she) was willowy and walked like a dancer, but ultimately a bit damp. Rubbish actress too. Praed was as wooden as the forest around him, but his hair was so lovely.

    I preferred, somewhat bizarrely, the foxy 70s Disney Maid Marion, who was, funnily enough, a fox.

    HTVs mid-80s Robin of Sherwood is, for me, the definitive reworking of the Robin legends. Can’t see anything Robin Hood-related without picturing clouds of drifty mystickal smoke in trees, copious mullets, wattle-and-daub houses, chickens n’ straw, and the finest Sheriff of Nottingham ever to hog the scenery, Nicholas Grace. We played Robin of Sherwood too, and I was always either Little John, or cruelly typecast as Friar Tuck on the basis that I marginally liked my chocolate biccies more than some of my friends.

  5. Also mention to Clannad, for basically being so utterly lazy as to only write about five cues for the entire score, and absolutely clean up financially for doing so (oh, and ruining mainstream folk music for the best part of the subsequent 15 years).

    The cues were:
    1. Theme tune – synths n’ reverb n’ unintelligible vocals ahoy! Unfortunately also influenced Enya, for which Clannad should burn in hell for.
    2. The “Action Music” – from when fretless basses and synth kettle drums ruled the world
    3. The Biddle-di-Dee music – folky-wolky hey-nonny-nonnyness which morphs into mellooo summery Fender Rhodes groove that went “Tooooogether Weeeee…”, which, thinking about it now, makes me snigger.
    4. The Lamenty-floaty tune that sounds like the theme from “Harry’s Game” – blimey, wonder who wrote that, eh?
    5. Generic atonal “Evil witchy-woo goings on with smoke and flames and possible paganist leanings” synth stabs – often over-egged with addition of ba-bomp-ba-bomp heartbeat drums and the worrying sound of a member of Clannad heavy-breathing.

    Kids today, eh? If you sat down and told them about this, they wouldn’t bloody believe you…

  6. Do not mock the soundtrack, rarg. I can tell you the names of every single one of those, and am right now going Bing Bong, Bing-bing de bong on the brainharp (#4, Lady Marion). She is like a May morning, you know.

    Tony Robinson’s Maid Marian and Her Merry Men had a very good Marion, too – and probably-not-a-joke-for-the-kids Praed-mocking Robin. We shall overlook Danny John-Jules contributions. :/

  7. Ooh, I forgot Maid Marion’s Bingly-bong tune. You’re right.

    OK, Clannad put all their collective effort into six tunes. Pher-yew!

  8. Robin Hood (the Michael Praed one) – mmmmm! No, no, no to all the Doctors of my childhood – only the lovely Mr Tennant rates a mmmmm! AVON – all those black outfits – mostly with leather and studs, and the snarling, and broody stares….. Had a bit of a thing for Tim Matheson in some bizarre Western show called ‘The Quest’ – co-starring Kurt Russell. But the only tv boyfriend I really really wanted was (showing my age here, I know)……Starsky. Oh yes! The hair, that smile, the action hero, the incredibly tight jeans, the terrible acting, the theme tune, that car, the awful jokes – my teen tv obsession.

    1. Starsky very nearly made the list. And Doyle (though I believe you’re more of a Bodie girl yourself). And Dempsey! He was definitely a serious TV boyfriend. 🙂

      Toooogether weeeee, tooogether we seeeeee… Complex lyrics there. But we’re forgetting ‘Feel the sadness, insiiiiiiide’ aka Will Scarlet’s Deadwife Lament. Beauteous.

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