1. Wordsworth is still Worst Poet Ever TM but whoa, the Lake District. I get it now, Wordsworth. That is a place that demands sincere inadequate poetry. I went up mountains and they were beautiful. They have air there, the fresh kind. Also friendly humans and cooked breakfasts, and snow, and boats, and oh. (I’m not forgiving you The Prelude though, Wordsworth. Never.)
2. Plumbers, builders, and wielders of pneumatic drills are not my favourite people – but they do have some unexpected tunes on their internal radios. Plumber Top Three Singalong Outside Susie’s Window:
3 – If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit (join our Club)
2 – Siiing Hosanna, Siiing Hosanna, Siiing Hosanna to the King of Kings
1 – Please Release Me
(There’s a reason I went to the Lake District.)
3. If you casually mention to twitter that – as part of your West Wing rewatch – you have reached ‘Celestial Navigation’, suddenly it feels a little bit as if the whole internet has a secret plan to fight inflation. Then @donnatella_moss tweets you, and the fourth wall sods off entirely.
(3a. Also from twitter: it turns out no one else gets ‘The Jackal’ either. Phew. In case of ‘The Jackal’, simply cough politely and look over there, where CJ is probably doing something amazing like normal.)
4. I have the best job in the world. No one told me beforehand that being a children’s writer meant you got to hang out with loads of children’s writers. Those people are awesome! They, like, make stuff up all day and no one tells them off! Also I am allowed to go to fabulous things like ChipLitFest and flail at Actual Children – who wrote a story in which the hero was a cheese. In space. Best job in the world, folks.
5. Marks & Spencer Beetroot Sandwich Pickle, 99p. Trust me.
In case this arbitrary list of stuff implies I’m not doing any work… I’m not doing any work. (I’m thinking! That bit counts. See point 4.) But here’s some work I did earlier…